Tears of Venus
by Nuklear Firefly
Summary: Cliff's gotten it into his head to play matchmaker with two certain Elicoorians. Only things don't quite go as planned...
1. Prolouge

**Author's Notes:** Haha, this is more or less just for kicks. Because I'm the type that sits there while playing the game, wondering how long it would be until Cliff did something incredibly stupid. :) And yes, I'm an Albel/Nel shipper, clearly. You'll all see how that plays out later.   
**Disclaimer: **Star Ocean 3 and all characters, items, whatever belong to Square-Enix and Tri-Ace. :D

**Tears of Venus   
_Prolouge_**

"Wait.... Say that again?" Peppita said with a raised eyebrow. Cliff patiently held up the phial of rather potent looking liquid for her to see a second time.

"I want you to slip this into their drinks," he explained. "Albel and Nel. Make sure that they're sitting next to each other, though, or it won't work."

"Poison?" she asked blankly.

"No."

"That's not the poison Fayt was telling us just came out on the market?"

"No! It's a love potion! 'The Tears of Venus,' the latest and most potent potion Gossam's come out with."

The lightbulb went on in Peppita's pigtailed head. "Oh! I get it now! They have to be sitting next to each other for it to work!" She giggled. "Great plan! So you noticed Albel's crush on Nel too, then?"

"How could you miss it?" Cliff snorted, not feeling the need to tell her that Mirage had hit him upside the head and pointed it out three days earlier. "Anyway, do you think you can do it?"

"Think I can? Of _course _I can!" Peppita snatched the phial from Cliff's massive hand and tucked it safely beneath one of her belts. "Dinner tonight, right?" He nodded. "Great! It's about time someone did something about this!"

She flounced off happily, humming to herself. Cliff grinned. There was no way the plan would fail now. With Peppita's absolutely innocent appearance and acting skills, there was no chance in Hell of the plan leaking out. The entire crew of the Diplo was in on it as well, though Fayt, Maria, and Roger had looked at him as if he'd sprouted sixty heads when he suggested using a love potion on their Elicoorian friends. Fayt had insisted that it would be a bad idea, that Nel would be pissed once the potion wore off, but Sophia had managed to talk him into it in the end. Cliff had wondered vaguely if the UP3-loving idiot would break down in the end and give Nel or Albel a heads-up; that is, until Albel set up a booby trap under Fayt's bed the night before that had nearly broken his ankle. Fayt didn't seem ready anymore to help Albel in any way, shape, or form. This was a relief.

Cliff strolled off to the bridge, whistling cheerfully. This was going to be _great._


	2. We've Screwed Up

**Tears of Venus   
****_Chapter One: We've Screwed Up_**

Peppita could swear she heard music from those old spy movies Ursus was so fond of as she crept towards the dinner table, Tears of Venus still stowed beneath her belt. She had volunteered to set the table, something odd in itself, in order to slip the potion into Nel and Albel's tea. Nel had been suspicious then, but the little actress had explained herself away by saying she was sick of Maria yelling at Cliff for dropping dishes. EVERYONE was sick of that. Nel had dropped the subject, leaving Peppita to the 'Mission', as Cliff called it.

She shot a nervous glance around herself, scanning the pristine white room for a flash of violet or red. Nothing; just the low hum of the hyperspace engines. She giggled and skullfully drew out the potion, eyeing the phial carefully.

The liquid within was a brilliant ruby red that glittered in the neon overhead lights. Peppita wrinkled her nose. How she could slip something _this _color into _tea _without making it look like blood was beyond her, but it was Cliff's harebrained scheme in the end. '_I could pin the blame on him,' _she thought cheerfully, and emptied half the vial into each cup. Both fizzled dangerously and sent up a jet of crimson steam for a few horrifying seconds. Peppita watched in alarm until the steam vanished; the tea stopped boiling and returned to its usual honey-toned color. She heaved a sigh of relief, then skipped to the bridge to inform everyone that the table was set and their drinks were ready.

She winked at Cliff as they all filed to the dining room. He grinned widely back. Nobody else seemed to notice.

Part two of 'Mission: Elicoorian Cupid' began.

There was a stampede for the seats with uncontaminated cups. Cries of "I'm so hungry!" echoed through the Diplo. Peppita hung back until she saw that Fayt, Sophia, and Marietta had stayed back with Albel and Nel (who looked surprised at the charge for seats) before barreling to sit in Albel's usual seat. The captain of the Black Brigade reacted badly; he stormed over, swearing softly, and glared fiercely at the tiny performer.

"Get _out _of my seat, maggot," he growled. She bravely stuck her tongue out at him, defying the chills of fear that ran through her at his fiery red stare. "Move it!"

"You snooze, you lose, Girly-boy!" she chirped, wondering how quickly he would kill her and if it would be painless. If _looks _could kill, she was damn sure she'd be a flaming corpse on the floor at that very moment. Scar-ee, as Cliff would say.

Albel had just opened his mouth to retaliate when Nel grabbed a hold of one of his long braids, yanking him around to face one of the empty seats -- Peppita's usual post beside Nel. The Aquarian handled the situation with utmost, predictable calm.

"Just be quiet and sit down, Nox," she said, steering him into the chair. Albel sat down, grumpily shooting death glares and insults her way, massaging the back of his head where his hair had been pulled. Nel ignored him and sat down.

Lieber led the evening prayer for the few religious people onboard (the _precious _few) while Cliff cheerfully starting shovelling food onto his plate. The atheist Klausian passed the food deliberately in the direction that would take longest to get around to Albel and Nel. Now all he had to do was make sure that those two looked right at one another after drinking the tea. The opportunity presented itself wonderfully when Nel picked up her tea and sipped it gingerly, trying not to scald herself. Cliff's foot shot out underneath the table and connected with Albel's shin in a very audible 'thump.' Albel swore so loudly that Nel nearly choked on her tea and Sophia jumped a clear four inches from her chair.

All eyes turned to Albel as he glared at Cliff and bellowed, "What the HELL was that for, you DOLT?!"

"Quit ooglin' Nel, loser!" Cliff replied snappishly. Bingo! Just as planned, Albel turned to look at Nel increduously. Eye contact! Half the plan was sealed!

Only Nel didn't respond as expected. She hit Albel upside the head. Hard.

"I _knew _all Glyphians were perverts!" she snapped, jabbing him in the chest for good measure. Albel winced.

"He's making it up, woman!" he attempted to redeem himself with, pointing accusingly across the table at Cliff.

"Oh, sure. And I'm the queen of Greeton."

They continued to glare at each other, both gulping down their tea as they did so. Confused glances were exchanged around the table; Fayt appeared to have forgotten that he'd been holding the mashed potato bowl for nearly five minutes. Every look was the same: _Is it working? How can we tell?_

"Leingod!" Albel suddenly snapped. Fayt nearly dropped the potatoes from shock. Not 'maggot'? Or 'worm'? _Not 'FOOL'?! _"Stop hogging the potatoes! I'd like to eat sometime this week!"

They all stared. After a long pause, Maria cleared her throat.

"Did you just call Fayt by his last name?" she asked. Albel scowled.

"Of course I did, maggot! What's it to you?"

_'Sweet mother of Luther,'_ Cliff thought. _'We screwed up.'_

"Isn't he usually 'worm' to you?" Mirage asked slowly.

Albel turned away and glared in the opposite direction. "Shut up, fools."

Cliff turned to stare questioningly at Peppita, who shrugged. This was _not _good. The only member of the party who was ever called by her real name was Nel; and everyone knew why that was. So if Albel had just drank a love potion... and was now calling Fayt by his real name when usually only the woman he had a crush on got such positive treatment....

...Shit.

Not two minutes later, everyone reveled to see Nel blush spectacularly when Steeg asked her to pass the salt. All jaws dropped (save Albel and Nel's, of course) when she giggled shyly before passing the salt shaker over.

After dinner, Cliff was not surprised to be cornered next to his room by Peppita, Mirage, and Maria. He hastily tried to explain himself, but Maria kept interrupting with "WHAT'S GOING ON?!"

"Well," he finally said slowly, "We appear to have screwed up, my friends."

"Oh. _GOD," _Maria murmured, slapping a hand to her forehead. Cliff nodded. After a pause, all three girls hit him.

"Ouch! I can fix it! _I CAN FIX IT!"_


	3. In Need of Duck Duck Bombs

**Author's Notes: **Wow, I got more reviews from y'all than I was expecting! :D Good to know there's more Albel/Nel fans out there than previously thought; all I can ever find is Albel/Fayt around here. Well, the shout-outs are gonna be tagged at the end of the chapter so that it doesn't take up space up here. :) Thank you all!

**Chapter Two: In Need of Duck Duck Bombs**

It was way past midnight (Elicoor time) before Cliff staggered back to his room, exhausted. Maria and Mirage had pestered him into tracking down Albel and Nel both, then making sure they stayed together, a job much harder than it sounded. Cliff thought back on the agony with a groan. Who knew that damn Albel had such strength in so scrawny a body?

After his vow to 'fix it,' Cliff's first stop was to try and track down Nel, who was being much more troublesome than her male counterpart. It wasn't long before he found the redhead attached to Steeg's arm just outside the bridge, his crewmember blushing and trying to dislodge her. Cliff approached as Nel was telling Steeg adoringly that his green eyes were beautiful.

"N-no offense, Miss Zelpher, but... I like Marietta," Steeg stammered. Nel looked up at him, disbelief in her emerald eyes.

"You... you don't like me?" she asked brokenly. Steeg shot Cliff a panicked look. The Klausian shrugged as Nel whispered, "...I see."

"Heeey, Nel, forget about Steeg," Cliff said with affected sympathy. "Can I talk to you a minute?"

Nel nodded, sniffling and rubbing an eye, and let go of Steeg's arm to follow Cliff. He sighed and leg her down a hall.

"Now don't be mad at Steeg," he said slowly. "He's just been cukoo for Marietta since we took him onboard. But you know who's had eyes for _you _ever since he got here...."

"You?"

Cliff stopped and turned to stare at her increduously. She was staring back, starry-eyed. His thought process immediately screeched to a halt and reversed into, _'Oh, shit, Mirage'll kill me, Mirage'll kill me, Maria'll laugh when she kills me.... Nevermind Mirage; ALBEL will kill me and dance on my remains...!' _He held up his hands in retreat.

"No, no, I mean...."

"No need to play innocent, Cliff. I know what you mean." She took a step forward; Cliff backed away fearfully.

"N-no, it's Albel, he...."

"Hmph! Who cares how Nox feels about you?"

Cliff considered bashing his head into a wall until blacking out. "You don't understand, Nel--"

"I think I do," she purred, blushing, and sidled up against him. _Shiiiiit...! _Cliff looked around himself desperately, hoping to any gods he'd previously ignored (or laughed at) that Mirage would just so happen to be passing by and have a Duck Bomb on her. No such luck; he was alone with a crazed Elicoorian. All. Alone.

So he ran. Nel wasn't far behind him.

As he pelted through the halls of the Diplo, he thought frantically about what he could do. He could lure her back to her room, but she'd just get back out. He could try running past Albel in hopes of the damn potion working, but he had no clue where he could be. _'Damn that Gossam! "Fall in love with the first person they see" my ASS! More like EVERY person they see!' _Cliff skidded to a stop as the hall before him suddenly filled with ice, then turned to stare back at the approaching Crimson Blade. She had stopped long enough to cast runology and was now advancing again.

Risking his manliness in favor of his life, Cliff bellowed for help. There was only one person for a job like getting him out of a mess he'd gotten himself into, and that was...

_**"MIRAGE!"**_

Doors slid open along the corridor; Mirage, Albel, Fayt, and Sophia poked their heads out into the hall. Cliff, panicking, slipped and slid over to Mirage, his blue eyes wide. Mirage looked startled; she had never seen her partner so worked up before. Unless you counted that time their sensei had chased him through the dojo with a very deadly-looking mace, of course.

"Tell me you have Duck Bombs!" he gasped as Nel began to pick her way across the ice gingerly. Mirage shook her head.

"I think Fayt might."

Cliff skittered across the hall to Fayt's room, sliding right past Nel (who had never looked so menacing in his eyes). Fayt stepped back to allow the blonde man to come in. Albel yowled from down the hall as the door slid shut: _"What the hell are you going into Leingod's room for, maggot?!" _Fayt slapped a hand to his forehead and locked the door.

"He keeps bugging me," he groaned, nodding back at it. Cliff heaved a sigh.

"I'm gonna kill Gossam," the Klausian growled. "I need Duck Duck Bombs. If I can manage to stun Albel and Nel, maybe that damn 'Fall in Love With Whatever Breathes' thing will work on each other."

"I think it might be that they fall in love with every _but _who they saw first," Fayt sighed as Nel and Albel pounded on the door. "But if we can stun them, they might stop moving long enough for us to tie them up."

More banging. Cliff sunk onto the table beside the force-fielded plant, frowning. "Somehow, I can't see them appreciating that."

"Yeah.... Think we should tie 'em up and apologize?"

"Are you kiddin'? Then Albel will only make our deaths more painful."

"Ah, good point. Just apologize, then?"

"Would it snap them out of it?" Pound, pound. Albel was showing impressive swearing prowess.

"Doubt it."

"...Eh. Good enough, I guess."

The two apporached the door hesitantly, listening to the continued abuse upon it.

"...Can I knock 'em out and throw them out an airlock?" Cliff asked jokingly.

"Tempting, but no."

"Damn."

The pounding rather suddenly stopped. Cliff and Fayt exchanged surprised looks, then unlocked the door, took deep breaths, and entered the hall.

**Shout-Outs!**

**Shiroko: **Hee, thanks! The direction is meant to stay veiled until next chapter, when you'll get to see how all this mess happened. Silly Gossam and his potions. And I'm not a fan of male/male pairings, either, but Miyabi down there and I were talking about how much Fayt/Albel annoys us and I tossed it in as a bit of a joke. ; I'm an Albel/Nel fan all the way. So no worries here! You have my promise on the Crimson Scourge that I'll not finish this up without Albel and Nel together!

**Cute Neko Kaydee: **Haha, really? I like Farleen too, but Nel is definitely my favorite Crimson Blade. (I like all of them, actually....) Y'know, I might work in a Farleen reference in a later chapter just for you. :D

**Miyabi Ningyou: **Well, HAR HAR, Hikki! Lookit the update from when I got home from New Jersey! Now Albel doesn't have to murder me! :P

**BiBi Tenshi: **Yay, thanks! :D Such positive reviews. And see the promise on the Crimson Scourge I made for Shiroko? That applies here, too: They'll be together in the end. Pinkie swear and everything.

**Ice Neko: **Thank you! The storyline's a bit twisted, but it's very fun to write. Hope you liked this chapter as much and I'll have another update done by the end of the week! :) Thanks for the good luck.

Wow, does that look funny. ; Thank you! As I said before, the plot's twisted, but it's fun. I'm still a little muddled on how I'll tie up my plotholes, but that'll be solved before long.

**Magus Black: **I'll have you know that your review had me laughing for quite a while. :D Wonderful wording there. And I've continued; next update should be up by Wednesday, by all means, but with Lazy Rohirrim Factor, it could be Thursday. ; Hope you liked this chapter as much as the last!

**Liebchen: **Haha, glad to know you liked it so much! I'm happy somebody else heard the exact same music I had going in my head while I was writing it; makes it worth humming in math class and getting an odd look from the teacher. And the potion isn't _technically_ working the way it should, but you'll see how it turned out. The next update should be done by Wednesday! :D

**Skweeshy: **Thanks! The next update'll be up around Wednesday, so you shouldn't have quite the same wait as with this one. As for vial-vs-phial, I think both work. My ninth grade chem teacher would switch back and forth, so I think both're acceptable, but I'm not too sure on that. ; Sorry if it bugged you.


	4. An Elicoorian Interlude

**Author's Note: **This chapter is a flashback. Flaaaashbaaaack. Your regularly-scheduled fanfic will be back next update.

**Chapter Three: An Elicoorian Interlude**

Albel was being followed. He knew he was being followed, because he could feel eyes on the back of his neck. But if he turned around, he would only have to endure Nel's lecture on why he had to stop being so 'disrespectful' to the authorities back on their home planet. After the last visit home (and after Albel's rather rude response to the Queen of Aquaria), Nel had been bristling with anger whenever he dared to even breathe within a mile of her. It was intensely annoying and under any other circumstances, he probably would've turned around by now and attempted gutting her on the Crimson Scourge. But this was Nel Zelpher, and due to his begrudging loyalty to her, the worst he could do was glower and throw insults her way.

She finally lost her patience with him and stormed forward, yanking one braid that hung down his back. Albel just barely bit back a yowl of pain and surprise and whirled around to glare at her, but she matched the intensity of the stare perfectly.

"Running won't get you anywhere, Nox," she growled. A nerve was touched.

"I don't run from Aquarian wenches," he replied, every ounce as nervy as she was. She squared her shoulders, pulling the braid harder (Albel hissed in agony), and had just opened her mouth to reply when Cliff's voice came from around the corner.

"Peppita, do me a favor."

"What kinda favor?" the circus performer's voiced asked cheerily.

"I want you to slip this--" A pause and slight tinkling noise. "--into Albel and Nel's drinks tonight at dinner. Make sure they're sitting next to each other, though, or it won't work."

"Wait.... Say that again?" Peppita's voice said slowly, her voice incredibly unsure. Cliff sighed and did so. Peppita didn't sound any less confused. "Poison?"

"No."

"That's not the poison Fayt was telling us just came out on the market?"

Nel let go of Albel's hair. He was too distracted by the conversation around the corner to be relieved. Both Elicoorians crept closer to the wall to listen in more closely, both curious and slightly worried that Cliff might be trying to poison them. Nel breathed a soft sigh of relief when Cliff responded with a "No!" She was, however, stunned silent by what came next.

"It's a love potion!" Cliff's voice proclaimed. Albel went rigid with rage. "'The Tears of Venus,' the latest and most potent potion Gossam's come out with."

Nel looked over at Albel curiously, but he was glaring at the opposite wall, apparently unaware of her prescence.

"Oh! I get it now! They have to be sitting next to each other for it to work!" Peppita giggled joyfully. "Great plan! So you noticed Albel's crush on Nel too, then?"

Whoa, wait. Stop. Back up. What was that? Nel wondered if she had imagined that. _Albel? _A crush on _her? _Impossible! He was _Albel the Wicked, _not some... some schoolboy or something! Or _Roger, _Apris forbid! (Or Cliff, for that matter....) She stared at Albel, mind numb, but he was still glaring at the opposite wall, the claw next to her clenched tightly.

"How could you miss it?" Cliff's voice asked, scoff evident in his tone. _'I missed it,' _Nel thought blankly. _'I'm still missing it.' _"Anyway, do you think you can do it?"

Peppita gleefully accepted the job and flounced off, Cliff not long after her, whistling something cheerily. Albel continued to look at the wall as if in a trance. Nel once again yanked a braid to get his attention back to the matter at hand. No wince, no swear, none of his usual responses. She was rather surprised to hear him growl.

"That _idiot," _he hissed.

"What was that all about?" she asked, putting just enough pressure on the braid so that he knew she could cause pain if she so chose but at that moment wasn't painful at all. He growled again.

"Leggo, Zelpher." Pull. "Aaaugh, fine! The oaf and the worm are right! But so what?! Not like it's anything other than temporary insanity, right?" Another pull. "OUCH, let _GO! _I can get over it easily! You're certainly making it look like a good idea, wench!"

Well, there it was. Nel honestly didn't know what to say to him. She didn't think she was necessarily _in love _with Albel, but she had taken more of a liking to him than originally intended. He was... well, a lot nicer than he'd started off as. He wasn't stabbing pillows to wake people up anymore. And he had finally stopped trying to make Roger trip and fall onto a conveniently-placed Crimson Scourge, too, though Cliff had taken up the Roger Bullying. And honestly, when you got right down to it, she and the Glyphian had a lot in common for being from warring countries. But... she'd never really taken anything like _this _into consideration.

Albel seemed to sense her thoughts and scoffed. "I don't need an answer, Zelpher, I think I know what you'd say."

"Maybe you don't," she said guardedly, giving the braid another small tug. He winced. "And I don't know what to tell you, either, so don't go putting words in my mouth or I might just use them myself. I think we need to deal with the situation at hand, though." She jerked her head in the direction that Cliff and Peppita had just been in.

"I think we need to shove them both out that airlock thing that Koas worm keeps talking about," Albel grumped, only using the name so that identification was clear. Nel was beginning to speak 'Albelish', as Fayt called it, but she still had some trouble discerning which tone inflictions exactly made a difference enough on 'worm' for it to mean either Mirage or Maria. Albel seemed to know this and tended to be a bit clearer about who he meant with her.

"Yes, but Mirage also says that throwing things out the airlock means that what got thrown will die very quickly," Nel said, exasperated. "We don't want to kill them."

"What's this 'we' business? I sure as hell do." Yank. Yowl. _"STOP THAT, DAMMIT!"_

Nel could admit to getting a sick pleasure out of pulling his hair. "Then stop being an idiot, Albel! Help me come up with a way to make them not give us that potion."

"Or regret giving us the potion."

"...I hate to say it, but I like that idea."

"Heh."

She found herself toying with the blonde tuft of unbound hair at the end of his braid absentmindedly. She only noticed when Albel finally snatched his hair free of her grasp, cheeks tinged with red. She felt a slight blush rise at the realization and looked at the floor, but spoke as if nothing happened.

"I think the best way to get around it at all is to just not drink anything," she said, putting her hands on her hips. "I mean, if we do, we'd have to make sure not to look at anyone all night. Or until whenever it wore off."

"Hmph. The effects are only temporary. If we know about it going into the situation, maybe they're not as strong, either. May as well drink it and lure them into a false sense of security, then attack them for it."

Nel sighed and considered jabbing him in the shoulder, but Albel seemed to know damn well that he was being rude. Also, the arm nearest her was his claw, and that would hurt quite badly if she punched it.

"Albel. _No. _We'd need something sneakier than that, at least."

"Drink it and then spit it at them?"

She actually considered this for a moment. "Maybe. Or we could act like it didn't work."

"What, just act normal? That's stupid."

Twitch. "Stupid, huh? Then why don't we make it look like it backfired and I beat you senseless?"

He got the message and muttered an apology so quiet that she wondered if she'd imagined it. He sounded begrudging when he spoke. "...Backfired might work, though."

Nel thought for a moment, folding her arms, then slapped one hand into her palm in victory after some time. Albel blinked at her.

"We could make it look like we fell in love with the wrong person!" she said excitedly, grinning up at him. He reacted just as expected.

"No."

"You will or I'll cut off your hair, Nox."

He stared increduously. "You wouldn't dare, Zelpher."

"I would dare. And I'd let Peppita play with it."

He paled, but that was the only sign of fright. Otherwise, his perpetually-annoyed look stayed fixed stubbornly to his face.

"Fine. I'll... follow the worm around for a while." Nel was surprised to realize that she recognized the 'worm' to mean 'Mirage.'

"That'll have to do. I'll make it up as I go along, so no... getting _jealous _or anything."

"I don't get jealous, wench!"

She thought he would, but didn't see the sense in arguing. "I'm just warning you. If we make it look like we're in love with the wrong person, then they'll eventually do something about it."

"...And _then _can I at least try to strangle the oaf?"

She sighed and slapped a hand to her forehead.

"...I'll take that as a no."

"Good to see you understand. Do we have a deal? Act like we're after the wrong person?"

"Wait, wait. Do we drink the thing or not?"

"Well...." she thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Drink it, I guess. But we have to look at each other, because maybe you were right, guessing that the effects are dulled by knowledge."

He grinned and held out his human hand for an agreeing handshake. She accepted it, smiling at him, and shook his hand with her usual unintentional strength. Unlike most people, he didn't wince and comment on it, but just grinned wider.

"Deal."

**Author's Note: **Haha, and now it's all explained. You all see a bit of the light now, ne? XD Sorry for the half-assed chapter here, but I promised an update and that of course was when I came down with writer's block. But here's the update, and a bit of something to chew on until the next. :D Dunno when the next update'll be up, since I've got a _lot _of history work to do this weekend, but we'll see. Sometime next week, most likely.

Shout-out time!

**Liebchen: **Haha, yes, writing in math class earns me odd looks. But the teacher is cool, so it's fine. As for the potion, well... it _kinda _works. Not that you can really tell with Albel. ;) Hope you feel better after that test! No need to apologize for your Germanness; it's all good! :D I like other countries better'n the USA, anyway.

**BiBi Tenshi: **Haha, yes, but the summary also had all the other random pairings that popped in along the way in it. Never trust the summary. XD More random pairings shall come, but in the end, my faith always remains in Albel/Nel.

**CodenniumRed:** That's right! Complications are too fun _not _to occur! :D

**Ice Neko: **Thank you again for the luck! I actually had time to write this before _Lost _came on, which is very good and unexpected. The randomness will continue in the next chapter, but I felt a little explanation was needed here. Albel/Nel forever!

**PrismaticMage: **Haha, yes for messed-up plot appreciaters! No need to cling, I updated when I said I would. :) I agree on the Cliff/Mirage stuff. Nobody seems to realize that Mirage is so terribly nice to him and that Cliff goes out of his way to be nice to her too. And this'll end on Albel/Nel. Sorry, but I really, really dislike Albel/Fayt. The only reason it's here is for spoofing purposes. ;

**AngeryRiceBall: **Awesome sn. XD I'll try not to end it too soon, but I think the next chapter will be the last. Unless I can think of something to go after it all, but I doubt I can. ;

**SapphireDemon: **Hee, thanks. I'm glad to know this's plausible. Cliff does seem like the type to stick his nose where it doesn't belong. Originally, it was going to be Peppita, but I really thought Cliff would be the type to think it up and then have somebody else do it for him. XD I'm sure all the guys ph33r Nel's wrath.

**Shiroko: **And you're back! :D 'Oro' sums up the Duck Bomb perfectly, haha. I love them to death. They saved me from Luther, plus they're so darn cute! -loves duckies- And perhaps you shouldn't glomp the Scourge. It's, uh, not the best idea.

Albel: Serves you right for touching my sword, maggot! -snatches it back-

Yeah, I heard it's got a defense mechanism of its own. ;


	5. The Grand Finale

**Chapter Four: The Grand Finale**

Fayt and Cliff stopped and stared at the scene before them in shock. Mirage was dragging both Albel and Nel away from the door. Sophia was backed up against a wall with a terrified look on her face, staring at Nel, who was struggling against Mirage and seemed bent on getting to the Earthling girl. Albel was staring at Mirage, annoyance flickering across his face as his eyes shifted between her and Nel. Cliff didn't miss this and frowned, a hunch beginning to form in his mind. Fayt didn't seem to be paying any attention to Albel, though.

"What's going ON out here?!" Fayt demanded, wondering if his whole party was going insane. Sophia pointed accusingly at Nel.

"She... she's after me!"

"Let me go, Mirage!" Nel cried, struggling fiercely. With a bit more effort, she wriggled free of Mirage's grasp; the Klausian woman swore softly and snatched at the redhead, but Albel took the opportunity to slip free while she was distracted. Taking a page from Peppita's book, Mirage nabbed a hold of Albel's braids to keep him from going any further; sure enough, he stopped dead in his tracks, pain flashing into his ruby red eyes as he yelled death threats. Nel had, by then, reached Sophia but been blocked by a rather annoyed-looking Fayt. Cliff was rather alarmed at the glare Nel had summoned up on the blue-haired Earthling and shot a surprised look at Mirage, who looked rather ready to punch somebody through a wall.

"Cliff! We should tell them!" she shouted. The other Klausian nodded as Albel's threatening came to an absolute halt.

"Tell us what? What's Koas talking about?"

Cliff's eyes narrowed as he immediately picked up on the sudden use of her last name. "Oh, no, no. Fayt was bad enough, but you're _not _going after her! Let 'im go, Mirage!"

Mirage did so. Albel folded his arms over his chest and glowered at Cliff while Nel broke her own death glare to peer over her shoulder at the Klausian curiously. The two stood there, absolutely still, eyes bright. Cliff smirked as his hunch finished forming. And his hunches were _always _right. Except for that time with the asteroid, but that didn't count.

"What's the matter, Al?" he asked, grinning at the Glyphian (who gave a noticable twitch of rage). "Tears of Venus worn off?"

Fayt, Sophia, and Mirage all looked at him. He tried not to break down and demand 'what?!'. Mirage sighed, obviously of the opinion that Cliff needed lessons in sublety. All eyes shifted to Albel when he replied, though.

"Thoroughly embarassed yet, oaf?" Albel the Wicked had a grin on that matched his nickname.

"Out with it, Cliff," Nel said, turning around finally. "Why did you put that stuff in our tea?"

"How long have you known?" Cliff asked evasively. It clicked in the minds of the three others and three pairs of eyes turned to Nel for her answer.

"We heard you talking to Peppita," Nel replied.

"So you've been acting out _all _of this?" Fayt asked slowly, green eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"The potion didn't work?" Sophia asked plaintively.

"No," the Elicoorians said in unison. Sophia seemed to take this as both an affirmative and negative and frowned thoughtfully.

"Damn!" Cliff grumped. "Foiled again! Stupid Gossam!"

"Serves you right for trying to trick us," Nel muttered, glaring at him darkly from beneath her bangs and over the rim of her scarf.

"Yeah, sorry," Cliff muttered, scratching the back of his neck nervously. He stopped suddenly, blinking. "Waitaminnit... if you heard me talking to Peppita, then...."

"Yeah," Nel said quietly, her cheeks tinting red. "I know."

"I would've preferred she found out from me instead of the brat, you imbecile," Albel growled. Cliff laughed sheepishly.

"Sorry, Albel," Mirage apologized for him, knowing her partner's habit of being stubborn on such things. "It was just so frustrating watching you, so we got the crew in on it."

"Beh," was Albel's answer. All six of them paused, each wondering if this nightmare was over yet. Which, of course, was when Sophia spoke up.

"...The potion really didn't do _anything?" _she asked.

_"NO!" _Albel snapped, his claw clenching at his side in sheer annoyance. "Why the hell would we lie?"

Sophia pouted.

"Sorry to disappoint you," Nel muttered sarcastically.

Silence again. Albel started to drift down the hall.

"Sooo...." Cliff drawled lazily, "when's the wedding?"

Albel wasn't far enough away to miss when he swung the Crimson Scourge's scabbard at the Klausian. It slapped loudly against his arm, but he didn't so much as wince. The Glyphian stormed off down the hall, Nel not far behind him. Mirage glared at Cliff.

"What?" he asked innocently.

"Subtlety, Cliff," Fayt said, "is a virtue."

"I'd always heard honesty was, too," Cliff replied, grinning. Mirage shook her head.

"It's over, Cliff."

"Dream wrecker." Sophia giggled and started back to her room. Fayt rolled his eyes and turned around, going back into his own room. Mirage sighed and walked in the direction of the bridge. Cliff, belatedly realizing the he really had truly ruined this opportunity (no, wait -- _Gossam _had ruined it, that bastard), walked back to his room as well. It was well past midnight. He yawned, stretched, and walked through the airtight door, rather pleased with the thought of sleep.

On the other side of the Diplo from the sleepy Klausian, the two self-satisfied Elicoorians stood outside of Nel's room. Nel grinned at the Glyphian, who snorted amusedly.

"Told you we'd get them back," she said. Pause. "You didn't go after Mirage."

"Beh. I was distracted. Besides, it had gone on too long by the time she caught us."

"I guess." They stood in comfortable silence for a while before Nel sighed. "I wonder if Gossam knows this potion of his doesn't work at all?"

"Old fool probably has no clue," Albel drawled. With a shrug, he turned and started to walk off. "'Night, Zelpher."

And that was when the Tears of Venus kicked in belatedly. For the fourth time that night, his braids were grabbed and used to steer him backwards, but this time, he had no complaints.

Although at the space equivalent the next morning, when Sophia came in to wake up Nel, some fancy explanations had to be thought up.

_**The End?**_

**Author's Note: **I'm really not pleased with how this chapter turned out, so I might eventually overhaul it. ; I wrote with writer's block just to get this thing done; the final stuff was plotted out ahead of time, but the actual wording was done with the Block in place, so I don't like how it sounds. It's pretty obvious that I had the dialouge scripted and no real action written out. But whatever. I can come back to it. Shout out time! (Where _were _all my reviewers this time around...?)

**nanatsusaya-san: **Ah, well, I put the "FA" in the summary to drag in you unsuspecting yaoi fans for the impliedness. I admit to unfair play. Glad to know you like it anyway!

**SapphireDemon: **Here's the last update (at least until my writer's block is gone and I can fix what I hate about this chapter). Hope you enjoyed this bit as much as the rest!

**Ice Neko: **Yes, I watch _Lost _religiously and am terribly addicted to itIn fact, I just finished watching today's episode. My eyes are still burning from crying so hard when... well, you'll see. But I wigged out over nothing. XD Yes, they knew all along. Nel's a decent actress, but Albel just couldn't take it anymore. Poor boy. Hope you liked this chapter too!

**PrismaticMage: **Haha, glad to know you liked the idea. Poor Cliff; didn't even know he was on the end of a prank. Good to know there's more Cliff/Mirage fans. I honestly thought Mirage's ending was for both of them at first and then felt stupid. XD I'm no fan of Albel/Fayt (I'll be honest), but I'm glad to know you like Albel/Nel as well. Thank you for reviewing!

**Magus Black: **Ah, well, Cliff's not about to take all the credit. Once the Crimson Scourge is against his neck, he'll tell all. :D But you are very right. An angry Albel equals much badness.

**Miyabi Ningyou: **Haha, you're an inspiring person, luv. ;) And I was considering using the 'shutting up' technique, but I liked the subtle ending better.

Promise I'll torture Roger in the next one. Once my muse gets off his lazy Elven ass and inspires me, I will. (Elrohir: Now that was uncalled for!)

**Skweeshy: **God, I love your screenname. XD Glad to know it held you down. Hope you liked this last bit!

**BiBi Tenshi: **Haha, Albel got distracted. The opportunity to go after Fayt presented itself before Mirage. But they knew. And it _did _wind up working. Eventually. Wonder if Gossam did that on purpose. :)

**Anyone Who Signs A Review On This Chapter: **Thank you so much! I promise I'll update again once my writer's block is gone and I'll fix this atrocity! It's up to stop reviewers from getting cranky, but it _will _be fixed one day! Thanks again!


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